I talked to my dad today to see how he and Baba, my grandma, were doing.  Baba was there on speaker phone with him and he said they were doing fine.  There was a bit of news on Pap.

Dad had talked to Pap’s neurologist and she told him that Pap wouldn’t ever be as able as he was before the stroke.  Actually, he’d had three small strokes since Tuesday, but yeah, he wouldn’t be the same.  She said he could get better than he is, which is good, but I don’t know what that means in terms of caring for him or what he’d be able to do for himself.

Dad told me that he was prayed an Our Father, a Hail Mary and a Glory Be with Pap and that Pap wasn’t able to pray out loud with him, but he was mouthing the words, and when Dad said “Jesus” Pap bowed his head, which told my dad that his dad was at least aware and knowledgeable about what was going on, which is a good sign.

Another thing, something that struck Dad and Baba as kind of… interesting, was something Pap said.  Dad said Pap had mostly only been able to say short things: yes, no, right, little (apparently monosyllabic) words.  Uncle Tom called Dad and when Dad went to talk to him outside of the room Tom asked if he should come see Pap or just plan on coming later, I guess referring to the Kentucky summer vacation that was already planned.  After he got off the phone, Dad went to ask Pap if Tom should come, and Pap said something like, “Sure, if he wants to.”  After how little he’d been able to talk it was a pleasant surprise to him and Baba, although as far as I know he didn’t talk that much again.

The doctors said that a lot of what will happen to Pap depends on his will, and Dad said he seems to have quite a bit of it, that he doesn’t want to leave Baba, which is touching.  I told Dad to remind Pap that Kentucky landed John Wall and should have a really good season too.  He also has yet to meet his two great-granddaughters.  (Well, the one that’s already here and the one that will be soon.)

On that front, I talked to a few people today about what to do about seeing Pap, and while everyone offered what advice they could, my Mom was the most influential.  I was talking to her after I talked to my dad and she was talking about what a tough choice it would be if it came down to going to a funeral and being here for Milly’s birth.  I told her I was struggling with the same thing, and she immediately told me, as a woman who had birthed four children, that Amanda needs me and I need to be there for that.  She said that’s what Pap would want, too.  So that’s what I’m going to do.  I was leaning that way anyway, but Mom saying that really helped me.  I almost wanted to cry, there was such relief in hearing that from her.

So, I can continue to hope that Pap’s health improves, and maybe sometime after the birth I can make my way to Lexington to visit with Pap.  Amanda’s mom has already said she’d fill in for me as best she can if I feel the need to go, and maybe I can catch a ride to Lexington if either of my parents goes again soon after Milly’s born.  Of course, they were already planning on going there for a little while anyway later in June, and depending on circumstances (if Milly comes earlier than the due date) we were going to see about going, though it’s doubtful that my two girls (Amanda and Milly) would be able to go so soon after the birth anyway.

Zach Dotsey